Thankful

My Faith
My kids
My husband
My Sister...I miss you Jenny Wren....
My Dad and Mom
My extended family...love you guys!
My friends
My sweet doggies
A roof over my our heads
food in our cupboards
my job
good insurance
the drama department at the high school
weight watchers
a good book
the ymca
donut day
my sense of humor

and these are just a few of things I'm thankful for....

Who needs sleep?

ME!! That's who! I got home from work on Tuesday morning and I did sleep for about 4 hours and then I was just wide awake! Then Wed morning I got home so tired....there was Josh begging me to take him to Kearney (2 hours away) because North Star did not have room to take all the kids to the One Act Festival and some had to find their own way. So, because I thought I would be able to sleep in the van (Josh could drive) I agreed. HA HA....sleeping in a van while a 16 year old is driving is apparently not something I can do. Every time he changed lanes I was yelling out "WHAT HAPPENED!"....I'm not very easy going with the whole teenagers driving thing..... We got there and I was so glad I went. It was North Star's first time performing their One Act....remember...it's The Giver....oh I just love watching them. They are all so talented...especially my kids...hee hee....Zack is so wonderful as The Giver and Megan looks so official as one of the Elders. The rest of the kids do such an awesome job. Anyway, I didn't sleep on the way home either. I got about an hour and a half nap before I had to go back and work all night again. Needless to say....I was one tired mama when I got home on Thursday morning.....and I slept the day away!
North Star's One Act Festival is this Monday, all day. I'm not sure how many other schools will be performing but you should come if you can! It's great entertainment.

Feeling Cheered Up!

This is me...today....it was windy out!

Today I was ready to go to the gym at the same time Joe was ready to go to school. Joe looked at me and said "You are getting so skinny! You are almost as skinny as me!". Although he couldn't know it I just really needed to hear that today. Things here are stressful (as usual). I like to eat when I'm stressed. It helps to hear little tidbits of encouragement. I'm still plugging away with Weight Watchers. I really like it and it's working just great for me. I've lost 18.4 lbs now. I'm down to a size 12 jeans (and they fit great! Not too tight) which is 2 sizes down for me. At my skinniest time when we were living in Balmoral I was wearing a size 8 or a 10. So, I'm close. I've really struggled to get into a good groove with exercising. I've always really loved to exercise and it's strange to be losing this weight without it. But, I'm really gonna try harder to get to the gym. I don't do well running in the cold so I think I'll wait til Spring to run outside. I went to a class this morning...a weight lifting class and it was FUN! I just don't realize how much I love and miss it til I'm there enjoying it. It was nice to see myself in the mirror too and not be totally irritated with myself. I have lost weight...I do look better and I for sure feel better!

Love Struck

Josh has had a crush on Tori for quite a while....he finally convinced her to go out with him....they've been together now for 2 months. She's a beautiful person on the inside and out! He's one lucky boy! And I think they look very cute together.

The Boy is SEVEN!

Joe turned 7 years old on October 25th. I'm running a bit behind in my blogging....

For Joe's birthday we went to the zoo.....this is my "gangsta" boy.

Do to an unforseen car problem....Megan had to make the cake....I think she did an awesome job! It's just what Joe ordered...chocolate cake with strawberry frosting and sprinkles on top.

Joe's favorite gift? Homemade "claws" from big brother Matthew....

Conversations

The other morning I got off work and went straight home to pick up Joe for a dentist appointment. When he went out the front door he dropped his backpack on the front porch and started walking toward the van.

Me: Joe...get your backpack.

Joe: I'M NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!! I'M GOING TO THE DENTIST!!

Me: Yes, I know, but then you are going to school.

(He got his backpack and stomped to the van and threw it in and sat down with in a huff)

Me: Boy, why are you in such a bad mood?

Joe: I WAS BORN THAT WAY!!

The Giver

Have you read this book? It's one of my all time favorites.....I have many. I read this several years ago when Zack had to read it for school. It's so thought provoking and just a good read!
Imagine my excitement when it was announced that North Star will be doing The Giver for their One Act Play this year. One Acts are a very big thing here in Nebraska. I wonder if they are anywhere else?? The kids compete at different festivals around our area and then they compete in a district competition and if they win at districts they go on to State....it's all very exciting. Last year WE (North Star) won at STATE!! Aaron, Megan, Matthew and I were able to go and it was all so awesome!

It's been kind of a joke in our home that Zack is always cast as an old man....so it's no surprise, but still so thrilling that he has been cast as The Giver!! I know he'll do such a great job!! Josh and Megan will be in the ensamble....it promises to be a great show! I truly can not wait to see it!!

VALA'S PUMPKIN PATCH

Thanks to Nebraska Emergency Medicine we were able to go to Vala's Pumkin Patch for free! Unfortunately the older boys and dad were not able to attend with us. All in all it was a fun night...besides the fact that Joe was the most hyper I've ever seen him (and that is saying ALOT). At one point I looked over and he was doing the splits in front of some random women....when I called him over to me he told me he just had to show them. Then on the hayrack ride we (meaning the entire brood riding on our wagon) were serenaded by Joe to the lovely song by B.O.B. ,Airplanes...you have probably heard it....I could really use a wish right now a wish right now a wish right now..... Well, we all heard Joe's version of it. Matthew and Joe also fought the whole time......but when we got into the van to go home I had many thank you's and "that was the best night ever!"....so I guess it was a great success, even if it was rather stressful for me.

When we first got there....you can already see that Joe was on one.

Joe having his hot dog.

Me and My Girl.

Megan was almost too cool to be seen with us.

Matthew and Joe roasting marshmallows.

Notice Joe's marshmallows are on fire...

I think he was pretty proud of those burned marshmallows.

The kids with Homer...for some reason my camera kept picking up every bit of dust in the air!

We saw bunnies...so cute!

Hannah and Joe rode trikes around a trail....it was hard to get them to leave this spot.

On the hayrack ride.

Hannah wearing the evidence of the yummy cotton candy.

Hannah found a pumpkin just the perfect size for her....my rule, you have to be able to carry your own pumpkin....

Matthew found a good one.

Joe is about to give birth.....

To a beautiful bouncing baby...pumpkin!

Isn't it a BEAUT??!!

Everyone had a grand time....

Something Happy

I had my fifth weigh in yesterday and I've lost a total of 12 lbs....YAY!

Lately

I haven't felt much like writing....life is just feeling so stressful to me and I feel like I'm failing in my mom duties. Working full time is hard....I miss just being a housewife and mother. I think my kids miss it too. I sometimes wonder if all this hullabaloo with Joseph is because of me, because I don't spend enough time with him. Hannah is so attached to me lately and anytime I leave the house without her when she's home (or awake) she clings to me and has to be pryed from my leg....it truly makes me feel so bad. I often wonder if my teens get enough time with me. I miss my family and friends. I miss being in a place where I have so many to lean on in hard times. I have been hating that I can't give my kids trips to New York with their drama department, or pay for their college or buy them backpacks or give them gas money. I've been hating that we don't have a nice house or live in a nice neighborhood or have nice things. I have been so sick of all the struggling.....I've just been so tired....so weary from all the stress. Then I read this quote the other day......

At the center of our agency is the freedom to form a healthy attitude toward whatever circumstances we are placed in!

Elder Neal A Maxwell
(thanks Michelle...I read this in the book you sent me)

And that was a moment for me....one of those aha moments and it hit me that I needed to SNAP OUT OF IT! So, I'm going to try harder...I'm going to look for the good. I'm going to make a conscience effort to find happy moments and to laugh more. I'm going to be more friendly and stop isolating myself so much. I'm going to remember that "this too shall pass". I'm going to take more pictures and play more with my kids. I'm going to try my hardest to be "in the moment" and stop worrying so much....about the "what ifs". Life is hard but there's no reason why it can't be wonderful too.......