Conversations

The other morning I got off work and went straight home to pick up Joe for a dentist appointment. When he went out the front door he dropped his backpack on the front porch and started walking toward the van.

Me: Joe...get your backpack.

Joe: I'M NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!! I'M GOING TO THE DENTIST!!

Me: Yes, I know, but then you are going to school.

(He got his backpack and stomped to the van and threw it in and sat down with in a huff)

Me: Boy, why are you in such a bad mood?

Joe: I WAS BORN THAT WAY!!

The Giver

Have you read this book? It's one of my all time favorites.....I have many. I read this several years ago when Zack had to read it for school. It's so thought provoking and just a good read!
Imagine my excitement when it was announced that North Star will be doing The Giver for their One Act Play this year. One Acts are a very big thing here in Nebraska. I wonder if they are anywhere else?? The kids compete at different festivals around our area and then they compete in a district competition and if they win at districts they go on to State....it's all very exciting. Last year WE (North Star) won at STATE!! Aaron, Megan, Matthew and I were able to go and it was all so awesome!

It's been kind of a joke in our home that Zack is always cast as an old man....so it's no surprise, but still so thrilling that he has been cast as The Giver!! I know he'll do such a great job!! Josh and Megan will be in the ensamble....it promises to be a great show! I truly can not wait to see it!!

VALA'S PUMPKIN PATCH

Thanks to Nebraska Emergency Medicine we were able to go to Vala's Pumkin Patch for free! Unfortunately the older boys and dad were not able to attend with us. All in all it was a fun night...besides the fact that Joe was the most hyper I've ever seen him (and that is saying ALOT). At one point I looked over and he was doing the splits in front of some random women....when I called him over to me he told me he just had to show them. Then on the hayrack ride we (meaning the entire brood riding on our wagon) were serenaded by Joe to the lovely song by B.O.B. ,Airplanes...you have probably heard it....I could really use a wish right now a wish right now a wish right now..... Well, we all heard Joe's version of it. Matthew and Joe also fought the whole time......but when we got into the van to go home I had many thank you's and "that was the best night ever!"....so I guess it was a great success, even if it was rather stressful for me.

When we first got there....you can already see that Joe was on one.

Joe having his hot dog.

Me and My Girl.

Megan was almost too cool to be seen with us.

Matthew and Joe roasting marshmallows.

Notice Joe's marshmallows are on fire...

I think he was pretty proud of those burned marshmallows.

The kids with Homer...for some reason my camera kept picking up every bit of dust in the air!

We saw bunnies...so cute!

Hannah and Joe rode trikes around a trail....it was hard to get them to leave this spot.

On the hayrack ride.

Hannah wearing the evidence of the yummy cotton candy.

Hannah found a pumpkin just the perfect size for her....my rule, you have to be able to carry your own pumpkin....

Matthew found a good one.

Joe is about to give birth.....

To a beautiful bouncing baby...pumpkin!

Isn't it a BEAUT??!!

Everyone had a grand time....

Something Happy

I had my fifth weigh in yesterday and I've lost a total of 12 lbs....YAY!

Lately

I haven't felt much like writing....life is just feeling so stressful to me and I feel like I'm failing in my mom duties. Working full time is hard....I miss just being a housewife and mother. I think my kids miss it too. I sometimes wonder if all this hullabaloo with Joseph is because of me, because I don't spend enough time with him. Hannah is so attached to me lately and anytime I leave the house without her when she's home (or awake) she clings to me and has to be pryed from my leg....it truly makes me feel so bad. I often wonder if my teens get enough time with me. I miss my family and friends. I miss being in a place where I have so many to lean on in hard times. I have been hating that I can't give my kids trips to New York with their drama department, or pay for their college or buy them backpacks or give them gas money. I've been hating that we don't have a nice house or live in a nice neighborhood or have nice things. I have been so sick of all the struggling.....I've just been so tired....so weary from all the stress. Then I read this quote the other day......

At the center of our agency is the freedom to form a healthy attitude toward whatever circumstances we are placed in!

Elder Neal A Maxwell
(thanks Michelle...I read this in the book you sent me)

And that was a moment for me....one of those aha moments and it hit me that I needed to SNAP OUT OF IT! So, I'm going to try harder...I'm going to look for the good. I'm going to make a conscience effort to find happy moments and to laugh more. I'm going to be more friendly and stop isolating myself so much. I'm going to remember that "this too shall pass". I'm going to take more pictures and play more with my kids. I'm going to try my hardest to be "in the moment" and stop worrying so much....about the "what ifs". Life is hard but there's no reason why it can't be wonderful too.......