Thursday, March 18, 2010
When Joe was born I was the happiest mom ever, I think. After three miscarriages....he was just such a wanted baby. How fun it was to have a baby around again. All the kids adored him and he brought joy to our home. He had so many helping hands...especially Josh. Josh changed diapers, even poopy ones and gave him baths and taught him his colors and read to him and many other things. I always knew he was kind of a high strung guy.....but this never seemed to be too much of a problem, in fact sometimes it was kinda funny. He loved to jump and run around from the time he took his first steps. He loves super heroes and many a time that boy has "become" the Hulk by ripping his shirt off (this was especially uncomfortable at Church). I'll never forget the look on his Dr's face the time he stood up on the examining table and leaped 3 feet into the Dr's arms, I have never seen any one look so shocked. Joe was so excited to start school. We went to orientation and I told his teacher he would give her a run for her money. Boy, if I only knew what was in store....what a heart wrenching few months this has been. I have felt every emotion, I think. Joe is so smart and is learning so much so fast. He is also having the hardest time of his short life and so am I (though my life is not as short :) ). I spend so much time wondering what I've done wrong. I think and think...am I too mean to him. Do I let him watch too many super hero movies? He struggles so much and it breaks my heart. He gets in trouble for hitting and for threatening to hit. He yells out in class all the time. He has trouble making and keeping friends. He is so impulsive and so so hyper. His moods are up and down and all over the place with no warning he can just get unbelievably mad and violent. He says mean and hurtful things. There is another side to him...so loving and so sweet. I love this boy with all my heart and I will never give up on him.....I will continue to work with him and try and teach him...I will continue to pray with him and for him. I will be there for him and do everything I can to help him learn how to cope with his emotions and impulses. He is my son.