Kimber and Krew

Fear Not....

2012-01-26T04:58:00.002-06:00

Reading the scriptures as a family has not always been our strength...but we are working on this. We are reading the Book of Mormon every night. Right now we are in 3Nephi. We are reading about the Gadianton Robbers and how the Nephites are praying to the Lord for help in defending themselves. When the Nephites see the Gadianton Robbers coming they fall to the ground in prayer...but the Gadianton Robbers believe the Nephites have fallen to the ground in fear. So, after we read about this we had a discussion about how we can pray when we are scared. Hannah is so notorious for never listening and living in her own little universe...so I looked at her and asked "what would you do if you were scared?" and she said "hide under my blanket!!".

Coming Soon

2012-01-05T23:00:00.003-06:00

I am so excited!! Megan and Josh will be involved in North Star's production of BYE BYE BIRDIE. Opening night is the first Thursday in March. Josh will be Albert Peterson and Megan will be Mrs. Merkle. I can't wait to see it...I know it's going to be awesome. If you are in Lincoln the first weekend in March please plan on attending. There will be shows Thursday, Friday and two shows on Saturday. This is gonna be a fun one!!

Open to Interpretation

2012-01-03T20:53:00.003-06:00

I work overnights in the ER. I am a patient registrar...which means I greet patients when they come to the ER....I get all their information, name, birthday, address, and then put all that in the computer....then later on, after they've seen the Dr....I get their insurance info and put that in the computer. I do other things too, but the main thing I do is register patients. I go to work at 1130pm and get off at 8am....so, I sleep during the day. That's the set up for the following.....

Today I was sleeping nice and soundly until I was startled awake by a blood curdling scream (my kids are still home for winter break). I then HAD to get up to go to the bathroom...which is so irritating really, it wakes me up too much and makes it so hard to go back to sleep! Today, I was lucky, I was able to go back to sleep (yay!) . I was again startled awake by another blood curdling scream (I figure I got a total of 6.5 hours of sleep, which is actually quite good for me....yay again!). Because I was startled from a good sound sleep, I remember my dream quite vividly. I was checking patients into the ER lots and lots of them...it was never ending. I remember the last one was a very tall, like 7 foot, very thin african american woman. She looked freaky in my dream, all big teeth and big bushy eyebrows. I was asking her name and she was standing very close to me as I typed in her name and for some reason we were standing by an indoor waterfall thing....anyway, she was standing way too close to me and I was very uncomfortable and when I asked her last name she said "REVOLUTION" and when I asked her first name she said "LITL' LIL". At this point I was jolted awake by said blood curdling scream. So, my question.....what the heck is that all about? Any good dream interpreters out there?

NEW YEAR'S EVE

2012-01-03T03:04:00.002-06:00

We spent New Years Eve at home playing games and trying out new recipes. I made pepperoni casserole and roasted brussel sprouts for dinner. Megan made homemade reeses peanut butter "shapes". She made all kinds of skiwompus shapes...wish I'd taken a picture. That really should be my New Years Resolution...to take more pictures, but what they really are is to work on my spirituality and our finances. Anyway...we had a fun night...very low key.....it was nice.

We had fun reminiscing. We were laughing about how Megan could not hear the first couple years of her life and we had no idea! I told her "you would always come when I called" and Josh yelled "Mmmmmbbbbbllllleeeee". Lots of laughter. Megan was also telling me about a conversation she overheard a couple days ago.

Joe: I wish I had a lunch sack.

Hannah: (holding up my makeup bag) here you can have this when mom dies.

Here's to hoping 2012 brings our family and our loved ones many blessings...and hopefully Joe will get his own lunch sack and not inherit my make up bag.

Just Exactly when did the Tables Turn?

2011-12-22T06:06:00.003-06:00

When my kids were little they would embarrass me. Especially Zack and Megan...don't know why these two in particular, but it's true. I suppose the reason Zack would embarrass me was because he was so curious. He wanted to know about everything and he wanted to know why. His FAVORITE thing to say was "cause why?" and to this day Aaron and I still ask each other this all the time....CAUSE WHY? And Megan, she was the girl who would blurt out whatever was on her mind at exactly the time it was on her mind. I can't tell you how many times I found myself back peddaling in conversations because of her "sharing" what she'd heard mommy say earlier....like I said, embarrassing. So, in the famous words of my father in-law "What I'd like to know" is....when did I start embarrassing my kids? Now that I know I have this power it's just way too much fun for me! I found that I'm especially embarrassing to my Megan....oh, the joy and rapture this brings me....I found this out recently when we were at the One Act District Competition and I asked her in the auditorium what she thought of one the high schools performances....she was so offended and told me under no circumstances would she engage in "that kind of conversation" with me.....I was litterally dumbstruck....yet, somewhat tickled. The next time we were in an autorium we were watching the Choir Concert at North Star. There was a kid there dressed in the tightest black shiny pants I've ever seen on a guy....all I had to do was just lean towards Megan and she was slapping at me and whispering "no, no, no!" she was ready to get up and walk out and I hadn't said a word! (insert evil laughter here.....)

technical difficulties

2011-12-14T03:02:00.002-06:00

I'm having some technical difficulties with my backround. I've never ever had this problem and it's making me want to scrap this blog and start a new one. I don't know what the dealio is but will have to have a more technical person (Josh or Aaron) take a look at it and see what the heck!

I'm having other "technical diffictulties" in my life right now too. I try to keep things positive here in my blogisphere...so that's why I've not written much lately.

A few things....

2011-11-09T03:01:00.003-06:00

Our Joe is 8 now. He's getting baptised!! We asked him if he'd like his brother Josh to do the baptising, as Josh holds the Priesthood and has that authority. He was so very excited to say YES!! Joe really loves his brother and now that they share a room he loves him even more. Joe met with our Bishop tonight and was on his best behavior, which is a big big thing for him! Afterwards he asked the Bishop if he could tell me about the interview and of coarse, he could. He told me "We had some laughs and some serious times, it was real good." Another very exciting thing is that we are going to Utah next week and Joe is going to be baptised while we are there. He has decided that he would like his Grandpa Schafer to Confirm him a member of the Church (which is what happens after baptism in our church, this is where members receive the gift of the Holy Ghost). It's a happy time in our family!

Speaking of Utah...we are all so excited to go!! One more week!! We will only be there for a few days but it's going to be so great to be with family. Aaron's brother from California and his family will be there and I don't think we've all been together for several years. It will be so fun to have all the cousins together. I get to see my son, whom I've missed terribly, and haven't seen for 3 whole months! We get to celebrate my inlaws 50th wedding anniversary, which is quite a big deal. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is that long long drive....and with Aaron in the van. I love my husband but I do not love driving with him long distances. He's not very patient with noise levels...he has sensitive ears. And, with many kids in the van...it's noisy. Good thing for DVD players in vehicles and REDBOX. Maybe we need to throw some benadryl in the mix...ha ha...

One last thing......Tonight I took the little two to McDonalds for icecream and to play in the playplace. They had such a good time!! They made new friends and were both in such a good mood. When it was time to go I only had a little trouble getting them out of there. After a couple warnings that it was time to go I finally said "Okay, I'm leaving, good bye". I heard Hannah tell her new friend "My mom is leaving and I really love her so I need to go with her". What will I do when she's a teenager and there are no little ones around to help me feel so loved and needed?

New Coat

2011-11-04T04:21:00.006-05:00

I am a thrift store shopper. I love a good deal and hate to pay full price for anything! I went to several thrift stores and was not able to find a coat for Joe, who is 8. Today Aaron found out the school had been loaning a coat to Joe to go out for recess (embarrassing) So, Aaron and I decided to buy him a brand new coat. It's so sparkly and shiny! Well, maybe not sparkly or shiny but it's new and it's cool, Joe told me so. He was so sweet and so thankful.

This is the actual coat he picked...couldn't find a good picture, I guess I'll take one with him wearing it sooner or later..

I'm not sure who's bright idea it was to create a ginormous Reeses Peanut Butter Cup (each cup weighs a half lb!!), I saw on the way into Sears (where we purchased Joe's coat), but I'm pretty sure they are EVIL and working with the DEVIL! I sure do want one.....

EXCITED

2011-11-02T02:50:00.002-05:00

We're going to UTAH in the middle of November!! Can't wait to see my son!! Not looking forward to the very very very long drive, but looking forward to seeing all the fam and hopefully some friends!!

One Act

2011-11-01T04:24:00.004-05:00

It's time for the One Acts (high school kids perform a one act play at festivals and then district competitions and hopefully on to STATE!) This year they are performing Oliver Twist. I'm excited to see how they cut this down to a one act...no longer than 30 minutes. Megan and Josh are both involved...Megan is in the ensemble and Josh is playing Fagan.
They will be performing this play with English accents....I already know what this means for our home....everyone is British now, or at least trying to be.....even the littles are speaking like lit'l poppets.

Why Clean?....it's just gonna get messy again....

2011-10-27T05:32:00.003-05:00

This is a statement I have heard far too often in my years of motherhood. I truly love love love a clean house, it makes me feel so happy inside!....I just can't seem to keep one. I know working makes it ten times harder to keep on top of this and I know this because I have had the fortune of being a stay at home mom several times during my mothering career. Unfortunately this is not one of those times and I'm being driven to the breaking point...really, I'm going to have a breakdown!! I am so SICK and TIRED of cleaning up pieces of garbage off the floor!! What is this about???? HELLO??? We have a garbage can in the bathroom and also in the kitchen why is there garbage on the floor??? This seriously unnerves me!! I am also SICK and TIRED of threatening, I mean reminding my kids to do their chores! We have had the same system for several years now...it is not a new thing!!! They have one chore that needs to be done daily and sometimes more than once daily and they rotate every week. It's easy and not complicated.

One of my kids especially hates to do the dishes...she really does everything in her power to look like she is doing the dishes...she will be in the kitchen doing heaven knows what for an hour or maybe even two....I see her, picking up dishes and I think...oh she's doing the dishes!!!....(our kitchen is not connected to the living room). So, I hear her, I see her and she states she's done and goes to bed. I go in the kitchen to find a counter full of dishes nicely stacked and none of them washed!! (we do not have a dishwasher, the electric kind anyway). So, with this girl I have learned some things. She will trade doing the dishes for other things like cleaning out the refridgerator (a job I truly hate!!) and my favorite, she will trade doing the dishes for a 30-40 minute massage and I really like massages and I really don't mind doing the dishes. Aaron really hates when I do this but I think it's still teaches her something...like the art of negotiation. And I really like massages!

I can not tell you how many times I'm told "no one else cares about having a clean house" or "you have OCD" or the one I heard today, which really takes the cake.....I walked in the bathroom and called the child in who has the bathroom this week. I showed him the towels and clothing on the floor and the trash decorating the floor around the trash can and he said "no one's coming over, no one's gonna see it" and I said " I am standing in here and I SEE IT!!!" and he said "maybe you should wear a blind fold".

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Conversations

2011-10-19T04:37:00.003-05:00

Hannah: Sometimes you are mean and nasty and sometimes you are nice.

Me: Mean and Nasty????!!!!

Hannah: okay, just mean.

Things I'd hoped to never hear....

2011-10-18T02:14:00.001-05:00

I love your lips because of all the fuzzy stuff on top....it's like you have a mustache.

Witchcraft HOO HA HA!

2011-10-14T15:32:00.012-05:00

Last week was North Star High School's production of The Crucible. This is the first year we have a new drama teacher, Brenda Broeker and I just can't say how impressed I am with her. It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! I can not believe these were high school students!! One of the kids' father took some awesome photos on parents night. Josh played John Proctor. His performance was so wonderful and everynight I cried and cried at the end. I was sad that there were no photos of Megan during the court scene but did a good job. This was her first speeking part! Again, I just can not say enough how wonderfuly Josh's performance was....that boy is talented....and I'm his mom!

To see all the pictures go to http://scobb717.smugmug.com/

Oh, and the title...this is the chant the kids would yell out after their huddle each rehearsal and show days....I got to witness this a couple times......so cool!

Scenes from the play...pretty much in order.....if you do not know the story...here is a little synopsis.....John Proctor had an affair with Abigail Williams but he has since repented, but Abigail still wants him so she and her friends get together in the woods and Tituba makes a charm, which Abigail drinks to curse Elizabeth Proctor..for you see, she wants to be his wife. The girls get caught and end up blaming many of the town folk of witchcraft to deflect the blame from them....so all these people get arrested...including Eliabeth Proctor. John is pretty upset about this...John has an evil temper! So, he gets his housemaid (who was one of the girls in the forest) to admit the girls are lying about all the townspeople. Well, Abigail, gets all the girls to gang up on the Proctor's housemaid, Mary, and she ends up saying John Proctor is a wizard and he made her sign her name in the devils book......and John gets arrested. The judge and the magistrate end up sentencing many to hang....they realize that the girls were lying but not until after many have died for witchcraft....so they can not admit they were wrong so they try to get Elizabeth Proctor to have her husband admit to witchcraft so others will follow and they won't have to hang. John at first decides he wants to live and admit to witchcraft even though it's a lie....he then after much heartache (and a stellar performance from my son) that he can't lie and ruin his name....he hangs at the end (with my daughter Martha Corey).

This was so much work for these kids!! I am amazed at the grace in which they handled the subject matter. This play was written by Arthur Miller in 1952 and was based on the real witch trials of 1692 in Salem Massachussetts. The characters are all based on real people.

A Fan of Jane

2011-09-20T07:53:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I wanted to watch Jane Eyre. I've never read the book but now I totally want to! I started it right when we got home from school. I told the little ones they would have to suffer through it. Hannah pranced around playing and singing and didn't mind it being on but didn't watch it either...but Joe was so into it!! My favorite was when he was telling Matthew about the end...(if you don't know the end then don't read the rest of this). He said something like this "Matthew guess what??!! The guy had a big secret!!??? He had a wife in the attic and she was crazy and she burned down part of the castle and the man got blinded and got a huge long beard but Jane still loved him." And now my son has become a fan of a classic!!

Every Girl's a.....

2011-09-15T21:17:00.001-05:00

I'm just sayin'.....

The Wheels on the Bus

2011-09-14T21:24:00.003-05:00

For school Hannah had a family project. We all worked on this together with Hannah being the creative designer. She chose all the beads and the colors. Josh did Zack's face and Hannah did our dogs faces. The rest of us did our own face. Hannah had a great time working with our family to finish her project and tomorrow she will turn it in.

Hard

2011-09-08T05:07:00.001-05:00

Joe can be hard. He has always been so full of energy. Sometimes I just like to remember when he was easier. He really struggles in school and at home. He gets so angry and very often there is little or no warning to when this anger will present itself. I know he feels bad about it afterwards. Today I was reading a note sent home about how his class gets to have show and tell on Friday and I said something like "oh, how cool! You get to have show and tell on Friday" and he just blew up and was yelling at me to stop talking about it. I was baffled, as I am quite often when he gets so upset. After a while he told me he was sorry. I'm still not quite sure why he was so mad and I don't think he knows either. These situations occur everyday all day long. He is working with counselors at school and we are working with him at home. I started volunteering in his classroom and it's interesting to see him there. He doesn't participate with big group activities....he knows it will set him off so he chooses to keep a distance. He still listens and follows along but he chooses to stay in his seat instead of sitting on the carpet with all the other kids...his teacher is okay with this and I'm glad but it also makes me feel so sad. I think every mother wants their child to fit in and I know he's "different". I worry for him and his future. Will he learn to control himself, will he be able to fit in when needed.....will he learn to see the bright side? I just love him so much. I want him to be successful in whatever he wants to do or be. I want him to be happy.

Last Sentence

2011-09-06T16:02:00.003-05:00

I found this author I really love. When I read her books I think to myself...now this is a woman I could be friends with. I truly enjoy her. I just read a book of short stories by her and the last story was especially nice. There is a time in it where the characters are discussing what they would say to their children if they could only use one sentence.....their last sentence....and I started to think, what would I say? I thought of all the moments with my kids...all the excitement, struggle, fun times, bad times, laughter, tears, sorrows, triumphs, hysteria, guilt, pride, disappointment, love, longing, playfulness, humor, stubbornness and utter sweetness......and just when I thought I could never come up with just one sentence, one came right to me.....

It's been worth every single minute!

*ps....Happy Birthday to my sweet little Grandma.....I miss you every day!

Conversations....on the way home from school.

2011-09-01T05:10:00.003-05:00

Joe: I brought a graham cracker to school today to eat with my lunch.

Me: Oh really? Didn't it get broken in your backpack? ( I imagined this lone graham cracker floating around in a baggie in his backpack, my kids eat school lunch, so they don't have lunch containers)

Joe: I put it in my pocket (no baggie). It was just crumbs but I ate it anyway!

Me: Yum...(lint and all)

North Star High School Presents.....

2011-08-29T05:59:00.003-05:00

There is much excitement at our house..... Megan and Josh were both cast in the next school play. I personally have never seen The Crucible but am looking forward to watching my kids and my friends kids perform it. It plays October 6-8 and I hope all those in Lincoln will come and support our school. It's a very inexpensive way to enjoy theatre.

Megan is playing a woman in jail named Martha Corey and Josh will be John Proctor, one of the leads! I'm so happy for both of them and the rest of the cast.

Do You Ever Wonder....

2011-08-25T06:20:00.004-05:00

What it would be like to have lived a different life? I mean, like in a completely different time. I remember watching Little House on the Prairie when I was young and thinking that would of been the perfect time to be alive. I should of been born in those days where things were more simple....no tv, no computers, hard work, homemade everything, families being together. I know it would of been hard...but imagine the feeling of accomplishment. I think of the pioneers and how hard they worked to make their journey. I can't imagine the heartache they went through losing so many loved ones.....would it of been better to live through that than the stresses of today? Sometimes I think of these things....what do you think? Do you have a favorite time period in history that you would like to have experienced?

Some Random Stuff (in no particular order)

2011-08-17T22:17:00.008-05:00

Matthew is 13! Officially a teenager....now we have four! Matthew really helped me out so much this summer. He watched the smaller kids many times and with little complaining. Here's what I've noticed though.....with teenager years comes a lot more mouthing off. The other day Matthew found out what happens when you mouth off right to your mom's face......he was taken down to China Town! Yes, I can still take him down, I'm still stronger.....but only by a little.

He is enjoying going to our church youth group and he's becoming a very wonderful young man...even if he is a little too mouthy.

Matthew or Chewy as we still sometimes call him.

I love to catch my kids being sweet.

This summer was a busy traveling one for us. I went to Utah twice in 6 weeks. The first time was to go to parent/student orientation with Zack. We drove down (it's a very LONG 12-14 hour drive, depending on how many times you stop). The first time it was me, Zack, his boyfriend Greg, Matthew, Joe and Hannah. We stayed in Utah for about a week. When we came back it was me, Zack, Greg, Matthew, Hannah and Zane. We left Joe with my sister and my Aunt and we took Zane, my nephew, with us. It was really so nice having Zane with us and it was so quiet having Joe in Utah. Oh, I missed him but I also enjoyed it without him...is that bad? He's such an intense little person and it's a lot of work being his mom. Six weeks was a long time though and he and I were both very ready to be reunited. When we went back to Utah it was me, Zack, Zane, Josh and Megan. We arrived in Utah very early in the morning and I went right in to my sleeping prince and hugged and kissed him! He was so happy to see me and he spent the entire day glued to my side. The next day brought some of those awful tantrums he'd been saving up for me.....back to work. I'm still glad he's home though! Utah brought many reunions with old friends. A good ole GNO thanks to my friend Lia! I had such a lovely night reminiscing and laughing! I've missed all that so much! It was just so awesome! I wish, as usual, there will come a day we can move back to our beloved Utah......

Megan, Josh and Joe at RUMBI ISLAND GRILL....man, we've missed that place!

Matthew, Zane and Hannah at South Towne Mall

Megan on the car ride home.

She got her braces off this summer!

Her teeth are so beautiful to match her beautiful face.

Speaking of my daughter.....I took her to TJ Maxx yesterday to get a lunch bag. She is trying to eat more healthy and wants to take her lunch to school. They had many super cute bags. But being true to her nature, she wanted a plain one. (Just so you know, I want one of the super cute ones.....I'm taking my lunch to work because I'm trying to eat healthy too.) Anyway, I told her to pick out a shirt too. So, she did. If you know Megan you know she is not an affectionate person....she really does not like hugs AT ALL!! If you know me you know I am a very affectionate person and I LOVE hugs A LOT!! So imagine my moment of joyous wonder when my daughter who has not given me a hug of her own accord in several years....gave me a hug with both arms!!!.....when we were walking out to the van.....so we were in public! Miracles really do happen!

Megan's new shirt and her plain lunch bag.

and her super cute purse that Aunt Jenny sent for her birthday.

Even Josh was heard to say "hey that purse is so cool".

School started this week. Hannah is now a kindergartner! It's a very exciting thing! Joe is in 2nd grade and has a fabulous teacher, who is totally willing to work with all his little idiosyncrasies. Matthew is in his last year of middle school, 8th grade. Megan is a Sophomore this year. She's really looking forward to all the after school activities...Drama and Speech. Josh is a SENIOR! He's looking forward to finishing this year and starting college and going on a Mission.

Joe and Hannah...first day of school.

Oh I almost forgot to tell the cute story about Hannah....a few days before school started she and Joe were cleaning her room and she found Joe's old Spiderman backpack, she said she liked Spiderman and was going to use it for school (see, her mom forgot about getting her a backpack...oops). So, she was so excited when the night before school I brought her home a princess backpack. She wore it the whole evening around the house. So, even though she LIKES Spiderman, I think she LOVES princesses!

Josh had a birthday too. He's 17. He had a wonderful present from Grandad and Carolyn. A trip to California and he got to bring his girlfriend, Tori, with him. They had a marvelous time and got to do so many cool things, the beach, a play in Hollywood and a trip to Knotts Berry Farm among the many. He had a blast and it's something he will always get to keep in his memories.

Josh (and Tori) with his new batman underpants!

When we went to Utah the 2nd time we brought a present for Grandma and Grandpa. A little kitten named Buttons. Now all their animals are from us...don't know if that's such a good thing...we are feeding their habit. So, little kitten came to us from Tori. She really wanted to find a good home for her. I know the home Josh found for her is a good one....she will be quite spoiled there, I'm sure. It was nice to visit with the grandparents we got to go to church with them and out to lunch. We were sad that the Murray Schafers were on vacation for most of our trip but very happy we got to see them, if only for a little while, on our last day there. I should of taken picures! My favorite was when we were talking about what to do for my in laws 50th wedding anniversary coming up this November and my niece Elizabeth thought it would be a very good idea to have a party for them and maybe play some "old people dodge ball"! LOVE IT!!

Buttons....she loves being in small places. She did surprising well on the LONG trip to Utah.

Josh, Megan, Zack, Joe with Grandpa and Grandma at SWEET TOMATOES (I have missed that place so much!). Grandpa would not look at the camera....he was trying to get Joe to pose like a normal little boy....but, you see, Joe is a super hero...not a normal little boy.

When we left Utah...we left Zack there. He's going to the University of Utah going for his Bachelor of Fine Arts in Theatre. Saying good bye to my son was so much harder than I thought it was going to be. I bawled and bawled and he laughed and laughed. You see, he doesn't know what it's like to say good bye to your child. I was his world when he was a baby and he slowly grew up and became a man and now the world is out there and he is going for it, following his dreams. I still get tears when I think of him sometimes and sometimes those tears run down my cheeks. Last night Megan said "Zack starts school on Monday...oh and did you hear he got that job at Jamba Juice?" Then I started thinking about him....thinking about him starting a new life, thinking about how much people will love him...he's so fun and makes people laugh. And the tears came and spilled down my cheeks and Megan was laughing. You see, she doesn't know what it's like....saying good bye to your child.

The last picture taken of Zack before we left for Utah.

Lost In Fun

2011-08-15T12:48:00.004-05:00

This year on my birthday Aaron had to work and the three older kids went to the Temple in Omaha. So, Hannah, Joe and I went to Lost in Fun. I very fun indoor playground.

conversations

2011-07-28T06:24:00.001-05:00

Aaron: (after noticing Zacks nails painted green) You aren't gonna become a drag queen are you?

Zack: Only on the weekends.

Funk

2011-07-23T15:53:00.003-05:00

Lately I can't think of anything to write about on my blog. I haven't been taking any pictures lately. And it's so hot here!! It makes me feel so lazy and lethargic.

Here are a couple things of note:

Zack is going to be living in Utah full time in less than a week....I'm having mixed feelings about this. I'm so happy for him. I'm going to miss him. He's ready though....he is at that age where he really thinks he knows so much more than he really does. I remember being this age, I remember thinking the same thing. I find it so interesting that the older I get the more I find out I really don't know much. Anyway, like I said I'm happy for him...so excited!! He's so talented and I know the future looks bright for him. I will miss him, terribly, but this is the cycle of life......now it's his time.

Joe has been in Utah for a little over 5 weeks now. It's too long. I miss him and I know he's missing us. I also think he's driving my sister and my Aunt crazy. I'm so thankful to them though. I have been so sad to find out how much contention has been alleviated without him here. He is so intense and being his mom is emotionally draining!! That being said, I am his mom! I'm proud to be his mom and I wouldn't trade it for anything!! I love him...he's hard but he's mine! I can not wait to see him in just under a week!! woo hoo!!

My nephew Zane has been here for 5 weeks. I'm sure it's not been as fun for him as he was hoping...he's an only child and there is not really any privacy in a home with five other kids. I do think we've had some fun times and we will miss him when he goes. Here's one thing I've noticed about him....he's so polite to me and so helpful!!! I hope my kids watch and learn! Thanks Zaner!! (He really does hate for me to call him that, but he will always be Zaner to me).

Aaron is enjoying his new job. He's working in management at Noodles and Co. It's so him...he has missed restaurants. It's strange to adapt to him being gone so much after he was home so much.

I'm remembering just how hard sleeping during the day is during the summer....I love my schedule during the winter when everyone is at school....not so much when they are all home. I find it so hard to sleep. I feel guilty for not spending time with them.

Oh, I must mention this....I'm so excited to see my Utah friends for a good ole GNO. I am nervous though....I don't look as good as I want to. I've always fluctuated in weight and I'm on my heavier side right now. I'm mad at myself for not having the self control it takes to STOP EATING bad things!! I wonder why can't I be the girl who DOESNT eat when she's stressed instead of the girl that feeds her stress with food! But, I'm going to suck it up and try to suck it in and just have fun with my friends!! Thank you Lia for hosting!

Hopefully next time there will be pictures!

Conversations

2011-06-30T04:28:00.004-05:00

We saw Transformers in 3D last night (thank you Jen Jen!). At the end Hannah came up to me and....

Hannah: I almost cried at the end

Me: Why?

Hannah: Because it was almost like a wedding, and people cry at weddings.

Now, when you see this movie you will know that this if funny....that she would get that out of it.

Joe has been at my Aunt and Sister's house in Utah. I think this is such a good experience for him and I love hearing about the things he's doing and saying. He recently found out about the laundry chute in Grandma Jo's bathroom.....

Joe: Tell me the truth! Has Zane ever jumped down the chute?

Jenny: No, did you go down the chute?

Joe: No, I was thinking about it but I decided if I did I'd probably break both my legs.

Some Stuff

2011-06-29T05:26:00.002-05:00

* We (Zack, Greg (Zack's boyfriend) Matthew, Joe and Hannah and I) made our trip to Utah for Zack's new student orientation at the U of U. It was such a wonderful, lovely trip. It just wasn't long enough and I didn't get to see everyone I wanted and didn't get nearly enough time with my brother and sister in law's family. Lucky for me I'm going back at the end of July. So, hopefully I'll get to see all my friends....we need to do a girls night out or something!

*The U of U is such a beautiful and BIG school. I'm so excited for Zack. I never went to college and I'm so proud of him. I know he will be a big success in whatever he decides as a career.

*We left our Joe there with my sister. We took her Zane with us. I miss Joe but must admit the house is very quiet without him. 6 weeks is a long time though. I know he's having a good time there and being spoiled rotten by Aunt Jenny and Aunt Jo. Hannah misses him but she's surviving. It's been so cool having Zane with us. He's growing up and has been so kind and considerat to me....I think he needs to give my kids lessons.

*Megan was supposed to go on a pioneer trek for Youth Conference with our church. She begged and begged not to go. She even came up with a contract of all the things she would do for us if we didn't make her go. She HATES camping with all of her heart and unfortunately she doesn't have anyone she feels close to in our youth group...which is basically just her and another girl. So, we compromised. She went to the first day, which consisted of going to the Temple and then having games and a sleepover in the barn on a farm of one of our church members. She still has to do everything on the list....My favorite thing on the list is....I get to hug her anytime I want all summer long and she has to hug me back. She also said she'd do anyone's chores who are not home. and basically anything I ask her to do. I wish she'd gone on Trek but have to admit the hugs are quite nice.

*Work has been crazy busy for me. Because I work overnight I get to see some interesting people. Nothing like summer to bring out the crazy, drunkiness in people....among other things.

*Josh just got home from his trip to California. He and his girlfriend, Tori, stayed with my Dad and his wife Carolyn. They had a grand time. I'm glad he's home....i missed him. Thanks DAD!!

*Life is busy.

Conversations at the LDS Distribution Center

2011-06-18T10:58:00.002-05:00

We are in Salt Lake City!! So, of coarse, I made a trip to the Distribution Center!

Me: This is a special place where they sell lots of church things so we need to be reverent.

Hannah and Joe: Okay

Me (after we walked out to the parking lot): Joe, you were not very reverent.....why weren't you being reverent?

Joe: Because I'm a gangster.

The sheet blanket thing

2011-06-09T19:29:00.002-05:00

When my older kids were small I used flat sheets and fitted sheets on their beds....I soon discovered that making bunk beds with flat sheets is a nightmare.....so flat sheets soon were outlawed and we just used fitted sheets and blankets....much easier. Aaron and I were talking with Matthew tonight and he was telling us how hot he's been during the night. I asked him if he's using a blanket and he said "no, I'm using one of those sheet blanket things". At first Aaron and I were quite perplexed, I almost went to his room to see what he was talking about......but, then we both realized.....he has no idea what a flat sheet is....to him it's a sheet blanket thing.

conversations during dinner

2011-06-03T05:16:00.002-05:00

Joe: I love you soo soo much Mommy!

Me: I love you too!

Joe: I love you all the love in the world!!

Joe: Even when I'm a grumpy old grandpa I'm still gonna love you!

Hannah: When I'm an old grandma I'm still gonna love you but you'll be dead.

Vote

2011-06-02T20:36:00.004-05:00

My niece Amy is a finalist in a singing competition to sing the National Anthem in their local rodeo.

Go to this link http://www.facebook.com/pages/West-Jordan-Independence-Day-Festival-Western-Stampede/220528384640553?sk=wall&filter=1.
click on "photos" and scroll down to find Amy, she's contestant number 9. She's wearing a scarf. Click "like". The contestant with the most likes will win!
She's a beautiful girl with a beautiful voice!

Josh sings a solo

2011-05-30T07:02:00.003-05:00

Every year Lincoln North Star Concert Choir sings a special song at the end of the last performance of the night. This year the song was It's My Life by Bon Jovi. Josh auditioned and got the solo. It was so awesome!! It's a little hard to see part of it as they kids were wearing glow in the dark painted shirts and jewelry and it didn't show up on camera so well...but they did such a good job and it was so cool to see my son rock it!!

Our Graduate

2011-05-30T06:53:00.001-05:00

So many memories these past few weeks....Zack as a baby and as a little boy...he's always been such a delight and sometimes quite a pill....but he made it!! He made it through this first part of his life and now he'll start a new chapter. I just couldn't be more proud of him.

late night conversations

2011-05-25T04:03:00.002-05:00

At 945pm Hannah came upstairs with something troubling her....

Hannah: Mom and Dad do we live in Lincoln? Joe says we live in Lincoln.

Aaron and I: Yes we do.....

Hannah: NUH UH!!! WE LIVE IN AMERICA!!!

Technology

2011-05-23T08:21:00.003-05:00

The other night I was laying in bed with Joe and singing to him (this is a favorite bedtime ritual for the littles) and he looked at me and said "PAUSE" because he wanted to tell me something. I think someone needs more human interaction!

STRESS

2011-05-18T05:50:00.002-05:00

Zack is graduating...on the 28th. It is very traditional here to have an open house for the graduate. We are having said open house this Saturday.....I am STRESSED OUT!! We have been cleaning and cleaning....we have been doing yard work....we have been getting photos ready.....we are planning for food.....did I mention the cleaning? I hate how you don't really realize how dirty things are til you really focus on it. I mean, with working full time alot gets left undone.....so the more I clean the more I see that needs to be cleaned...it's a vicious cycle of never ending torment for me. I also am struggling with the whole "I wish I lived in a nice home and not in an old run down one"......*sigh*. I just really want it to be nice for Zack....
Speaking of him, Zack I mean, last night was his last choir concert and it was amazing! The boys both did such an awesome job!! But since it was his last he was bit weepy, well, maybe alot weepy. He asked me later why I wasn't crying too...because I am a cryer ya know......I told him I didn't know why. I've thought about it and I think there will be many tears coming....but not til this open house is OVER! Speaking of the Open House....anyone is invited...if you want to come to Nebraska ....or you are already in Nebraska.....it's at our house from 11-2 This Saturday the 21st. We'd love to see you!

Just SO Proud

2011-05-13T16:53:00.002-05:00

I look at all my kids have accomplished and I just feel so thrilled. I feel a long post a comin' but not today.....today I'm off to Zack's last Theater Banquet and Megan's first.

Such a girl....

2011-04-28T06:14:00.002-05:00

The other night we were all in the van together....this happens very rarely now a days.....but there we were, so it was a tight fit. Hannah and Joe were sitting next to each other (note to self...do not let this happen again). One of them poked the other in the eye and then the one who was poked slapped the others arm. So, they were both crying. After a while this was too trying for Aaron so he said Stop crying! And Hannah said " I can't stop til I been crying a whole lot". Yep...she's a girl alright.

Love Letter

2011-04-25T15:53:00.003-05:00

Dear Eureka Air Speed,

You Really SUCK!

And that's why I love you so.......

HUGS and KISSES,

Carpet

Conversations

2011-04-18T19:38:00.002-05:00

Josh: Everyone! Listen to this (talking to our whole family). Today at our band competition I opened the case to my french horn...took out the mouth piece and found orange playdough in there!

Me: Hannah did you do that?

Hannah: No....

Joe: I didn't do it either!

Me: Hannah did you put orange playdough in Josh's french horn?

Hannah: It wasn't playdough......it was a crayon (this part said very quietly).

Josh: Why did you put a crayon in my mouth piece?

Hannah: I was trying to get the bagel out of there.

NAKED!

2011-04-15T04:50:00.003-05:00

Last night was swimming lessons....a favorite thing for Hannah especially! This time around is even better because Logan is in her class...Logan is her boyfriend at daycare...she loves him, she tells me all the time. But anyway....in the locker room there is a wonderful little machine, you put your swimsuit in there, close the lid and it spins all the water out....it's awesome! Hannah LOVES to use it. After she took off her swimsuit she ran over to the machine put her swimsuit in there and held the lid down....... all the while she was BUCK NAKED. I finally got her to come over and get dressed. While dressing she looked over to see another little girl running her suit through the machine. Hannah looked at her and then leaned over to me and whispered loudly "SHE'S NAKED!" If only I had a picture of the look on her face when I said "You were just over there doing the same thing and you were naked too." Apparently her nakedness hadn't occurred to her.......She finished dressing in silence.

Some Stuff

2011-04-13T04:51:00.004-05:00

*Still struggling with Weight Watchers...I've gone to three meetings in the last three weeks. I've lost 1.8 lbs...but still have a ways to go. I refuse to give up....I'm gonna keep on keepin' on.

*I've been trying to get to the gym at least twice a week...I acually ran a mile and a half without stopping the other morning....it felt so good! I think I could of kept going longer but my knee was hurting and my lower back too....I am getting old.

*Working over nights is hard sometimes...I like it okay, I just miss being able to get things done during the day....when I wake up in the afternoon life gets so busy...so the house is not as clean as I want it to be and I just feel so hurried all the time. It's also a bit discombobulating waking up during the day....there's always a bit of panic for a couple seconds until I remember, oh yeah...it's daylight and I'm supposed to be asleep....

*I am getting so excited for my trips....California in May with Megan. I look so forward to having that time with just Megan and me. Also, my sister is meeting us there and I can't wait to see her. I also am really glad I get to spend some time with my parents...it's going to be awesome! I also get to see my sweet girls, Courtney and Erin, who I used to be a nanny for and now they are both in their 20's and did I mention I'm getting old? Then in June I GET TO GO TO UTAH!! My Zack is going to orientation at the U and him mama gets to take him....CAN NOT WAIT! I'm missing all my family and my home girls! We to do a girls night or day or whatever...

*Aaron's still looking for full time work....*sigh*

*Working in the ER has made me appreciate my kids more.....as hard as teenagers are...it could be so much worse. Thanks kids...big hugs to you and don't drink and don't do drugs and listen to your mama....(like my kids even read my blog....ha ha ha ha )

*I get loopy and silly when I'm tired.

*I still have 2 and a half hours to go before I get to go home to my bed....

Bangs or no Bangs.....

2011-04-08T07:01:00.005-05:00

I just can't decide.

Happy Day!

2011-04-05T05:47:00.002-05:00

Zack got his acceptance letter from the University of Utah's Theatre Program. This is such good news and we're all so excited for him. He has orientation at the end of June.....which means.....I get to make a trip with him to Utah.....whoopedee woo hoo! I can't wait!

Take a Starlit Stroll LNS Prom 2011

2011-04-03T21:33:00.006-05:00

Saturday was the big night....and a busy one for this mama. First, Josh was running late and it was stressing me out. I kept telling him to get dressed...he though he had plenty of time. He told me in the car "I didn't know it would take so long to get dressed". Hmmmmm maybe he shoulda listened to his mama! So, we didn't have time to go to Tori's before they were meeting their group downtown for pictures. So, we went straight to the Haymarket where we waiting for Tori to arrive. Josh was so excited to see her in her dress. She looked stunning! I got some very cute shots of them. They stayed downtown and went to a cute little ice cream shop called Ivanna Cone and then went to prom. I was bummed about not getting any group shots of them but I had to run home and pick up food (thanks to Megan for helping me get it ready) so I could run over to Zack's friend Lexi's where his group was having dinner. I got some great shots of Zack and Greg, they both looked fabulous, and helped with dinner.......well, maybe I really just stayed and chatted with the moms....but hey, that's okay. The boys had an excellent time and Zack even texted me some pictures while they were at the Prom....it was nice. I really can't believe I have boys this old....I just don't feel like I'm old enough....

A HUGE THANK YOU TO MY DAD FOR MAKING THIS ALL POSSIBLE! THANK YOU THANK YOU DAD! YOU ARE THE BEST!

Enjoy the pictures.....I think they turned out real nice!

Sick

2011-03-28T06:29:00.002-05:00

Hannah is sick...again! That girl gets sick so easily....it's just frustrating. When she's sick she likes to be on me and I do mean on me. Aaron mentioned that it looked like she was a part of my body the other morning when she came up to snuggle because her head hurt. Recently I got all the Buffy the Vampire seasons from the library....we watched the musical episode from season 6 too many times to count. Hannah especially loved this episode. On Saturday she was on my lap and looked like she was sleeping...suddenly she opened her eyes, looked up at me and sang "I touch the Fire and it freezes me."....just out of the blue! We returned Buffy a few weeks ago....that line she sang is from the musical....it was cute...and a bit disturbing too.

Wardrobe Malfunction

2011-03-25T13:06:00.003-05:00

My oldest three children are very involved in Speech. For those not familiar there are several events to compete in. My kids tend to like the events that involve acting. This year Josh's events included DI (dramatic interpretation) and Duet (Duet Acting). In his DI he did a piece called "I am not Batman". He told the story of a little boy imagining he was batman and he could save his father, who is a janitor and also a drunk. His other event, Duet, is a pieced called The Threadmen" about two men stuck on an elevator together, one a psychiatrist (Josh), the other a man who has been evaluated by said psychiatrist and deemed insane, thus spending 3 years undergoing pychiatric evaluations....now the "crazy" one is in an elevator with the man who brought all this down on him......it's pretty intense! Now to explain a little about how a Speech meet works....Events start at a certain time....if you are double entered (entered in two events) you have to go to your first event....make sure you let the judge know you are double entered....and then after you perform you hurry to your next event to perform there. We parents follow our kids around....going to their events, which are held in classrooms. So, here we are at State (Imagine your sports team making it to the State competition...this is how exciting it is to make it to State!) Anyway, we went to the competition with David's parents (David is Josh's duet partner). David and Josh were both double entered so they decided to do their duet first and then run off to their other events. Each event was held in a different building at UNK (University of Nebraska Kearney). So they performed their duet and it was awesome! The ending is very intense....Josh is on the ground pleading for his life and crying....when it was over Josh stood up.....he was leaning over saying something....I thought he was saying "I broke my knee....I broke my knee".....what he was really saying was "I broke my pants....I broke my pants".....and boy did he! His pants were beyond broken.....there were many of us watching them. Davids parents, me and and Aaron, Tori, Mrs Broeker (his Speech coach), one of the Speech helpers and her parents....we were all trying to think of what to do....he still had to run over to perform his DI! Mrs Broeker had a sewing kit and a safety pin....Aaron worked some magic and with a couple stitches and a safety pin Josh was ready to perform his DI. He did an awesome job for someone who knew he was a couple stitches and a safety pin away from showing his world to everyone in the room! After he performed we took him to JCPenny and got him new pants. He and David went on to finals with their Duet and came in 5th place. He did not make it to finals with his DI but not for lack of trying....

The zipper broke and they ripped all the way around to his hiney....

A Very LONG update with a TMI paragraph at the end.

2011-03-23T04:32:00.009-05:00

I thought I'd write a little update on everyone....haven't done this for a while.

*Hannah is loving her daycare! She's been going to Julie's for over a year now and it's been the best fit for her. She has friends there and she loves going. Julie takes the kids to fun places like The Childrens Museum, the park and cool indoor play places. Hannah LOVES this! I LOVE this! Last week they went to the Circus! I got information in the mail to enroll her in kindergarten for next year....I can't believe my baby will be going to kindergarten! I know she will miss Julie and so will I! Her hair is getting so long! I love cute short bobs on my girls but Megan still holds a grudge against me for keeping her hair so short when she was little, so I'm letting Hannah's hair grow long (like Rapunzel). She's still so sweet and snuggly but she's also a stinker sometimes. She's pretty spoiled and bratty and I'm sure I had NOTHING to do with that. She's really been loving Josh lately......it seems like she flip flops between Zack and Josh and right now Josh is the brother of choice. She loved taking swimming lessons recently and I think the best part of the whole thing was that she no longer FREAKS out when I wash her hair....YAY! She and Joe will be starting another round of swim lessons at the end of the month (Thanks Grandad!).....

*Joe is doing so well in school! This is the most wonderful thing considering he was almost suspended from school last year. He's not had to visit the principal even once in 1st grade...WOO HOO! He has made so much progress with his impulsive behavior...it's still there and we still have moments but it's gotten so much better! I realized this the other day when we were at his Dr's appointment. He's on Ridalin and so we have to visit the Dr every so often to make sure everything is hunky dory. So, the first time we went to the Dr....Joe was OUT OF CONTROL....jumping all over the place and taking his shirt off and not listening and it was embarrassing and pretty much a nightmare. That was when our Dr suggested we take Joe to see a Psychiatrist and to counseling. Which we did.....and now he's doing so much better that we switched back to just seeing our regular Dr....and he was a dream at the last appointment, sitting nicely in the chair the entire time and chatting with the Dr. I was so proud of him. He's such a sweet, loving boy. He's loving playing outside now the weather has gotten so warm and nice. He also LOVES the Wii....

*Matthew is growing up.....he's passing the Sacrament at church and really loves attending Young Mens (church youth group). He's also filling out some....he's always been so skinny! We took him off his ADHD medication this year....he's doing awesome without it. He's doing well in school and his behavior at home has gotten so much better! No more HUGE tantrums....just a little one here and there....so much better! He's been playing the alto saxophone at school and is so excited because he was able to start playing the baritone sax...it's very big.....recently. He has been so helpful to me this year, watching the little ones so much so I can go to all the big kids school things. He's also discovered a love for reading! He plays with Joe alot but also fights with him alot too....*sigh* He is so happy that he recently got a cell phone.

*Megan is LOVING high school...she skipped a grade this year. She went from 7th grade to 9th grade...after much consideration and prayer on my part. I knew she wasn't happy in Nebraska...I thought this would help and it has! She's been able to keep her grades up (my biggest worry was that she'd be over her head with the academic jump). She is involved in Drama and Speech. She's done so well with Speech this year! She's made it to finals several times with her event which is poetry and that's so good for a freshman (novice). She and I are so different. We struggle at times but we also have a good time together too....as long as I don't try to hug her or touch her. She and I are taking a little trip to California in May....I'm looking forward to that time with her.

*Josh is really having such a successful Speech season. He is going to State with both of his events. I've truly LOVED watching him perform! He's not home a whole lot but when he is home he likes to lay around and play the wii. He has a girlfriend, Tori. I really like her and have been very impressed with how respectful they are to each other and how romantic Josh is! He writes her poems and leaves little notes on her car for her. I told him to give his dad some pointers.....
He's got a lead in the upcoming Spring play. He's also singing in concert choir and choreographed choir. No wonder he likes to lay around when he's home....

*Zack is soooo ready to move away and go to school. This has been an interesting year for him and for the family. He's dating a boy named Greg, he's been over for dinner a few times...we all like him. That's the interesting part...he still goes to church with us but doesn't really want to...it's hard, but not hard too. I guess it's kind of hard to explain. He's our son...we love him. He did so well in the last school play, I really think it was one of if not the best performance I've ever seen from him. He truly found the character. After a lot of thought he decided not to try out for the Spring play. He's really struggled with his relationship with his drama teacher and decided he didn't want to go through the stress. I'm sad for me...I LOVE watching him....but I'm proud of him for standing up for himself. He's also done so well in Speech. He came so very close to making it to the National Competition. (the top three went and he came in fourth). He's also going to State for both of his Speech events. He is also in concert choir and choreographed choir...it's so fun to watch both my boys up on the stage singing and dancing. He leaves sometime this summer for Utah to get ready to attend the University of Utah. It's a very exciting time in his life and a bittersweet time for me.....

*Aaron continues to look for work. It's been the hardest time in our lives, I think. I'm so grateful to family for helping us make it through this! It depresses me that we are struggling so much in our 40's. I feel ashamed that we need help. I see so many of my old friends doing so well and I wonder what happened to us...we didn't make good choices, we planned terribly. You see, this is why I haven't written much lately....I'm being too negative. I truly wonder how we'll make it out of this one....we can't rely on family and our Church forever. I've struggled with about everything....my house is gigantic mess....I've gained weight.....I'm just not myself. I keep on keepin on for my kids....they are my life. I know things just have to get better...I need to keep having faith. I also probably shouldn't be writing this after I've been up all night....things always seem worse when you're tired.....but, things are hard...things are not looking up yet and it's scary. I think I better end this LONG LONG post now.

Lambie

2011-03-21T17:13:00.005-05:00

Megan found Lambie....dressed and ready for a night out on the town....or maybe the street corner?

Conversations

2011-03-08T02:32:00.001-06:00

Hannah: The mirror in the bathroom was dirty, so I washed it.

Me: Oh really? What did you use?

Hannah: Wet toilet paper.

Me: Oh...good.

not funny....

2011-02-28T08:25:00.000-06:00

Sheeps, Chickens and A Child's Prayer

2011-02-21T21:34:00.003-06:00

Sunday was a funny day for the Schafers...and a cool one too! First off Zack and Josh sang a duet in Church....it was wonderful and they got so many compliments. They sang A Childs Prayer. They made their mom feel so proud! Those are my BOYS!

The three older ones had to attend Sunday School with their parents as the youth teacher had to leave. So, the Gospel Doctrine teacher used to be in Young Womens and knew Megan so she picked on her and asked her a question....the question asked was "what do you think was brought to the alter as a gift?" Megan's answer "animals" Sister so and so asked "What kind of animals?" Megan's answer "Sheeps and Chickens".

An Art Project

2011-02-21T21:30:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since I've done anything crafty....I copied this idea from a magazine. I think it turned out pretty cute....I got all the bottles from thrift stores and made the flowers with yarn and twigs from our backyard. It makes me feel kinda MOLLYISH!!!

Who needs RESPONSIBILITY?

2011-02-20T20:59:00.002-06:00

Today after church was the baptism meeting for all the kids who will turn 8 this year. Believe it or not, Joe is in included in this group.....time just flies so fast! So, we're sitting there, me, Joe and Aaron and our Bishop is talking about how when you get baptized you become responsible for yourself and all of your actions and this is when Joe looked up at Aaron and said in a very loud whisper "I am not going to do all the dishes!".....apparently in Joe's mind along with responsibility comes work.

A little something about LOVE

2011-02-14T08:09:00.003-06:00

Today is Valentine's Day....I feel like talking about LOVE but a different kind...it's the love for teenagers. We have three in our home and soon enough there will be four. I just know that Heavenly Father sends us these sweet babies so little and so helpless so that we will fall completely in love with them and by the time they are teenagers it is too late...we already love them so much that we pretty much forgive all of their stupidity. I don't think I've ever felt so unsure of myself as a parent as I do raising teens. I'm constantly wondering if I'm making the right choices. I'm also constantly getting my feelings hurt. I have too tender of a heart as it is, but man, it's taking quite the beating here! There is no way to describe the feeling I get when my daughter looks right at me and says "I don't love you".....especially when I love her so much. I realize there is much manipulation going on here. I also can't describe the panic I feel at realizing how little control I really have over what they do or say when I'm not around. I can remember folks saying to me when my kids were little "oh, just wait til they are teenagers.....you think it's hard now??? HA HA, you just wait!!"....and now I say this same thing to people with little ones..."enjoy them now...eat up every minute.....for one day they will be teenagers!". I suppose ignorance is bliss. Now the good stuff.....although the trials and struggles are many....there are the good things.....watching them grow and become young adults....seeing them interact with adults and be able to hold their own.....seeing them accomplish great things.......watching my son's receive the Priesthood and use it......carrying on wonderful conversations with them. There's so many good sides to teens. Now, just remind me I said that the next time my daughter rolls her eyes at me.......

Conversations

2011-02-06T11:42:00.001-06:00

Me: Hannah, what happened to your chin? (noticing she had a band-aid on her chin).

Joe: She decided to shave.

Me: You know, girls don't shave their faces.

Hannah: Then why is there a pink razor?

All Wet

2011-02-05T16:20:00.003-06:00

Hannah and Joe started swim lessons at the Y on Thursday. Thanks Grandad!! They had a blast and can't wait for next week! Joe's teacher's a bit hairy, dontcha think?

Snugglie

2011-02-04T05:13:00.002-06:00

My baby girl just makes me smile. I didn't get much sleep yesterday...so I ended up going up to have a nap at 8pm. Pretty soon I heard someone sneaking up the stairs...and there she was. She jumped in bed with me and said "you know why I came up here" I said "why?" and she said "cause you're soooo snugglie". Then she said "You know what mom?" I said "what?" and she said "you are just like an owl". I said "oh really?" she said "yeah, cause you stay up all night long and then you sleep in the daytime." Then she fell asleep...in my arms....oh how I love that girlie...

Bob and Freddy

2011-01-28T18:39:00.001-06:00

Are living in our freezer.....I'm a bit concerned about Bob.

Honeymoon

2011-01-25T05:07:00.003-06:00

You know, I really like to write down these funny things my kids say, but I also wish there was a way to record the expression on their faces and cute way they say things......but my words will just have to do.

We were watching TV in bed last night and Hannah was laying with us and the show we were watching made reference to going on a honeymoon. Hannah laughed right out loud! I looked at her and said "Do you know what a honeymoon is?" and she very innocently said "I think it's a moon with honey on it." I can see how she might think that's mighty hysterical.

Missionary Moments

2011-01-19T02:40:00.002-06:00

Last month when the missionaries came over for dinner Joe decided it was a good time to play charades. This is a very favored game that he truly loves! Well, after "becoming" many super heroes , which he also truly loves....I called him over and suggested he become someone from the scriptures.....yeah....if you know Joe this probably should of had a little more clarification. To my absolute horror Joe stood up, put both arms straight out to his sides, lolled his head to the side and stuck his tongue out a bit. I looked over to the missionaries, their they were, all three of them sitting on the sofa with their shirts and ties looking so missionaryish.......all three had looks of shock on their faces. One of them whispered to another "is he doing what I think he's doing?". Then Joe yells out "HELLO!!! I'M JESUS!!! ON THE CROSS!!!".

I guess the missionaries decided we weren't evil and they came back a couple nights ago for more fun and dinner too. This time wasn't quite as bad......we were all sitting in the living room when Joe announced "Megan has a mustache"......when no one said anything, can you say uncomfortable SILENCE? He yelled out "WELL....SHE DOES!!". I have to give Megan kudos for not killing him.

I wonder if the missionaries will want to come back next month.

Things I like to hear

2011-01-18T02:38:00.002-06:00

Hannah likes to sit by me when we eat dinner....

Hannah: Mom sit by me! sit by me! sit by me!!

Me: okay, okay, okay.....

Hannah: you know why I like you to sit by me?

Me: Why?

Hannah: Because, you are so beautiful.

Hannah's been sick these past couple days and so a bit clingy.....

Hannah: Mommy I want you.....

I sat down next to her on the sofa.....

Hannah: Mommy I really like you....I like you better than chocolate.

She really likes chocolate so that's a HuGE compliment. There's nothing like a sweet girl loving her mama to make it all seem okay.......

Trying

2011-01-17T08:24:00.002-06:00

So many things I'm trying to do. Trying to stay on track with WW. Trying to be better at sorting out our finances. Trying to be a better mother and wife. Trying to be a better daughter and sister. Trying to be a better daughter of God. Trying to be happier. Trying to be better at writing on my blog this year. I'm trying.....

Conversations (between teenagers with a little input from the mother)

2011-01-14T04:23:00.003-06:00

Megan: (While sitting in the back of the van) EEEEWWWWWUUUUU!! You GLEAKED on meeeee!! (She then punched Josh,in the face)

Josh: OOOOOWWWWWW!!!! I didn't mean to!!! (He then punched Megan, not in the face).

Me: HEY!! I'm trying to drive here...stop hitting each other!

Josh: GEEZZ Megan, you gave me a fat lip!

Megan: Well, you gave me a fat boob!

Josh: You wish.....

19 YEARS!

2011-01-12T19:26:00.002-06:00

So, Aaron and I just celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary. Boy what a 19 years it's been. So many ups and so many downs. These past couple months have been especially trying. Aaron's still not working...if it were not for our family we would be living on the streets. I sometimes feel so jealous of those who seem to have so much. A nice home, nice furniture. Those who don't have to shop at the thrift stores or feel guilty buying things like facial moisturizer or to pay to get their hair done. But I have to think of how this trial has helped our family. We have become close. Aaron and Zack actually have conversations where before their relationship has been so strained. Aaron and I are getting along so well....we have so much time together now. He makes dinners for our family almost every night. He gets the kids ready for bed and gets them up in the morning and ready for school and out the door. We still have moments of struggle with getting along and not fighting....but for all this trial has brought us, it's ultimately brought us closer.

Zack's Senior Pics

2011-01-09T04:56:00.001-06:00

These are some of my favorites....Thank you Stacie for fabulous pictures!

www.staciepowersphotography.com

Our Toothless Wonder

2011-01-06T21:30:00.003-06:00

Mr. North Star

2011-01-03T21:53:00.002-06:00

Josh was in The Mr North Star competition right before Christmas. It was like a beauty pageant, only for guys. He came in 3rd. He had a lovely companion...his girl friend Tori. Don't they look so cute?!!

My Zachary

2010-12-30T02:09:00.007-06:00

A few years ago I read this Dear Abby (see below)....It has come to my mind many times.

Almost 4 years ago Zack came and told us he's gay. We had him go to counseling, we had him talk to the Bishop, we asked him to try not to be. We had him read articles in the Ensign (Church magazine). We've made him go to church and go to Seminary. I got much advice from family and friends. What it all comes down to is this....He's our son....we love him. He did not die, he is not sick. Although it is not what I would of chose for him it's his choice. Early on a dear friend (who has so much life experience) pointed out to me that I could tie Zack in a chair and keep him away from all of his friends but the one thing I could NEVER do is change the way he feels....that is not my right. So this is what I choose....I choose to be a BIG part of my son's life. I choose to enjoy in his triumphs and be there with him through his trials and sorrows. So, if others choose to judge me or Zack...I have to say...I don't care. I want to be a part of my son's life, I want him to come to me and tell me things that are going on with him. I want him to share his thoughts and feelings with me. I may not always agree with his beliefs or always understand them but I'm okay with that....He's my Zack...I love him.

Dear Abby:
My husband and I raised our two sons and two daughters. One son and both daughters married well. Our other son, “Neil,” is gay. He and his partner, “Ron,” have been together 15 years, but Neil’s father and I never wanted to know Ron because we disapproved of their lifestyle.

When I was 74, my husband died, leaving me in ill health and nearly penniless. No longer able to live alone, I asked my married son and two daughters if I could “visit” each of them for four months a year. (I thought living out of a suitcase would be best for everyone.) All three turned me down.

When Neil and Ron heard what had happened, they invited me to live with them. They welcomed me into their home, and removed a wall between two rooms so I’d have a bedroom with a private bath and sitting room. They also include me in many of their plans. Since I moved in with them, I have traveled more than I have my whole life. They never mention that they are supporting me, or that I ignored them.

When old friends ask how it feels living with my gay son, I tell them I hope they’re lucky enough to have one who will take them in one day. Please continue urging your readers to accept their children as they are. My only regret is that I wasted 15 years. –Grateful Mom

Dear Grateful Mom:
You are fortunate to have such a loving, generous and forgiving son. Sexual orientation is not a measure of anyone’s humanity or worth. Thank you for pointing out how important it is that people respect each other for who they are, not what we would like them to be.You could have learned that lesson long ago, had you and your husband contacted Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) when you first learned that Neil was gay. Among other things, the organization offers support groups and education for parents who need to learn more about gender issues. The address is 1726 M St. N.W., Suite 400, Washington, D.C. 20036.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T19:54:00.002-06:00

We're wishing our family and friends a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a Happy New Year!

Jenny....we love you and miss you so much! Wish we were there!!!!

Oops

2010-12-16T03:43:00.002-06:00

One night a couple weeks ago we were watching The Office. Aaron and I were on the sofa and Joe was playing on the floor in the area behind the sofa. You would think I would of learned by now that even though it appears kids are not listening...they really are. In this particular episode of The Office someone was advising Michael to only talk about things he knew something about.... to which he replied "Like boobs?" The someone then asked Michael "What do you know about boobs?" And this is when our seven year old son who was playing army men on the floor stood up and yelled out "THEY ARE BIG AND ROUND!! LIKE CIRCLES!!"

Lessons

2010-12-02T03:58:00.002-06:00

Do you ever feel like you are supposed to be learning something but you just can't seem to "get" it? I do all the time....especially when the same trials keep following us around wherever we go. I hope someday I can look back and say "LESSON LEARNED" but for now it's not that way. Aaron's looking for a job....he's been out of work now for over 5 weeks...haven't wanted to say anything....it's embarrassing.....but we could use some prayers and good thoughts coming our way. We're both really starting to feel pretty freaked now......we were not really making it before and now.......well, let's just say I'm writing this post from work....no more internet at home....for now. I'm trying to feel faithful and hopeful. Maybe that's the Lesson I need the most....to learn to be faithful and hopeful....not my greatest strengths.....hmmmm....

Conversations

2010-11-30T01:08:00.002-06:00

Me: Joe, you can not wear those socks! (We were getting ready to go to the library and he was wearing one Spiderman sock and one Lightening McQueen sock)

Joe: Why?

Me: They don't match at all! (One was grey, red and blue and the other White, black, yellow and red.....one long and one short)

Joe: No one will care what socks I'm wearing....it's not like they will see them and say "OOOHHHH you are wearing socks that don't match!! Now you have to go to jail!

Thankful

2010-11-26T07:29:00.004-06:00

My Faith
My kids
My husband
My Sister...I miss you Jenny Wren....
My Dad and Mom
My extended family...love you guys!
My friends
My sweet doggies
A roof over my our heads
food in our cupboards
my job
good insurance
the drama department at the high school
weight watchers
a good book
the ymca
donut day
my sense of humor

and these are just a few of things I'm thankful for....

Who needs sleep?

2010-11-20T02:37:00.003-06:00

ME!! That's who! I got home from work on Tuesday morning and I did sleep for about 4 hours and then I was just wide awake! Then Wed morning I got home so tired....there was Josh begging me to take him to Kearney (2 hours away) because North Star did not have room to take all the kids to the One Act Festival and some had to find their own way. So, because I thought I would be able to sleep in the van (Josh could drive) I agreed. HA HA....sleeping in a van while a 16 year old is driving is apparently not something I can do. Every time he changed lanes I was yelling out "WHAT HAPPENED!"....I'm not very easy going with the whole teenagers driving thing..... We got there and I was so glad I went. It was North Star's first time performing their One Act....remember...it's The Giver....oh I just love watching them. They are all so talented...especially my kids...hee hee....Zack is so wonderful as The Giver and Megan looks so official as one of the Elders. The rest of the kids do such an awesome job. Anyway, I didn't sleep on the way home either. I got about an hour and a half nap before I had to go back and work all night again. Needless to say....I was one tired mama when I got home on Thursday morning.....and I slept the day away!
North Star's One Act Festival is this Monday, all day. I'm not sure how many other schools will be performing but you should come if you can! It's great entertainment.

Feeling Cheered Up!

2010-11-09T13:41:00.004-06:00

This is me...today....it was windy out!

Today I was ready to go to the gym at the same time Joe was ready to go to school. Joe looked at me and said "You are getting so skinny! You are almost as skinny as me!". Although he couldn't know it I just really needed to hear that today. Things here are stressful (as usual). I like to eat when I'm stressed. It helps to hear little tidbits of encouragement. I'm still plugging away with Weight Watchers. I really like it and it's working just great for me. I've lost 18.4 lbs now. I'm down to a size 12 jeans (and they fit great! Not too tight) which is 2 sizes down for me. At my skinniest time when we were living in Balmoral I was wearing a size 8 or a 10. So, I'm close. I've really struggled to get into a good groove with exercising. I've always really loved to exercise and it's strange to be losing this weight without it. But, I'm really gonna try harder to get to the gym. I don't do well running in the cold so I think I'll wait til Spring to run outside. I went to a class this morning...a weight lifting class and it was FUN! I just don't realize how much I love and miss it til I'm there enjoying it. It was nice to see myself in the mirror too and not be totally irritated with myself. I have lost weight...I do look better and I for sure feel better!

Love Struck

2010-11-08T10:22:00.004-06:00

Josh has had a crush on Tori for quite a while....he finally convinced her to go out with him....they've been together now for 2 months. She's a beautiful person on the inside and out! He's one lucky boy! And I think they look very cute together.

The Boy is SEVEN!

2010-11-08T10:03:00.003-06:00

Joe turned 7 years old on October 25th. I'm running a bit behind in my blogging....

For Joe's birthday we went to the zoo.....this is my "gangsta" boy.

Do to an unforseen car problem....Megan had to make the cake....I think she did an awesome job! It's just what Joe ordered...chocolate cake with strawberry frosting and sprinkles on top.

Joe's favorite gift? Homemade "claws" from big brother Matthew....

Conversations

2010-10-23T03:34:00.002-05:00

The other morning I got off work and went straight home to pick up Joe for a dentist appointment. When he went out the front door he dropped his backpack on the front porch and started walking toward the van.

Me: Joe...get your backpack.

Joe: I'M NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!! I'M GOING TO THE DENTIST!!

Me: Yes, I know, but then you are going to school.

(He got his backpack and stomped to the van and threw it in and sat down with in a huff)

Me: Boy, why are you in such a bad mood?

Joe: I WAS BORN THAT WAY!!

The Giver

2010-10-20T02:42:00.003-05:00

Have you read this book? It's one of my all time favorites.....I have many. I read this several years ago when Zack had to read it for school. It's so thought provoking and just a good read!
Imagine my excitement when it was announced that North Star will be doing The Giver for their One Act Play this year. One Acts are a very big thing here in Nebraska. I wonder if they are anywhere else?? The kids compete at different festivals around our area and then they compete in a district competition and if they win at districts they go on to State....it's all very exciting. Last year WE (North Star) won at STATE!! Aaron, Megan, Matthew and I were able to go and it was all so awesome!

It's been kind of a joke in our home that Zack is always cast as an old man....so it's no surprise, but still so thrilling that he has been cast as The Giver!! I know he'll do such a great job!! Josh and Megan will be in the ensamble....it promises to be a great show! I truly can not wait to see it!!

VALA'S PUMPKIN PATCH

2010-10-18T06:07:00.005-05:00

Thanks to Nebraska Emergency Medicine we were able to go to Vala's Pumkin Patch for free! Unfortunately the older boys and dad were not able to attend with us. All in all it was a fun night...besides the fact that Joe was the most hyper I've ever seen him (and that is saying ALOT). At one point I looked over and he was doing the splits in front of some random women....when I called him over to me he told me he just had to show them. Then on the hayrack ride we (meaning the entire brood riding on our wagon) were serenaded by Joe to the lovely song by B.O.B. ,Airplanes...you have probably heard it....I could really use a wish right now a wish right now a wish right now..... Well, we all heard Joe's version of it. Matthew and Joe also fought the whole time......but when we got into the van to go home I had many thank you's and "that was the best night ever!"....so I guess it was a great success, even if it was rather stressful for me.

When we first got there....you can already see that Joe was on one.

Joe having his hot dog.

Me and My Girl.

Megan was almost too cool to be seen with us.

Matthew and Joe roasting marshmallows.

Notice Joe's marshmallows are on fire...

I think he was pretty proud of those burned marshmallows.

The kids with Homer...for some reason my camera kept picking up every bit of dust in the air!

We saw bunnies...so cute!

Hannah and Joe rode trikes around a trail....it was hard to get them to leave this spot.

On the hayrack ride.

Hannah wearing the evidence of the yummy cotton candy.

Hannah found a pumpkin just the perfect size for her....my rule, you have to be able to carry your own pumpkin....

Matthew found a good one.

Joe is about to give birth.....

To a beautiful bouncing baby...pumpkin!

Isn't it a BEAUT??!!

Everyone had a grand time....

Something Happy

2010-10-09T04:44:00.002-05:00

I had my fifth weigh in yesterday and I've lost a total of 12 lbs....YAY!

Lately

2010-10-08T02:27:00.004-05:00

I haven't felt much like writing....life is just feeling so stressful to me and I feel like I'm failing in my mom duties. Working full time is hard....I miss just being a housewife and mother. I think my kids miss it too. I sometimes wonder if all this hullabaloo with Joseph is because of me, because I don't spend enough time with him. Hannah is so attached to me lately and anytime I leave the house without her when she's home (or awake) she clings to me and has to be pryed from my leg....it truly makes me feel so bad. I often wonder if my teens get enough time with me. I miss my family and friends. I miss being in a place where I have so many to lean on in hard times. I have been hating that I can't give my kids trips to New York with their drama department, or pay for their college or buy them backpacks or give them gas money. I've been hating that we don't have a nice house or live in a nice neighborhood or have nice things. I have been so sick of all the struggling.....I've just been so tired....so weary from all the stress. Then I read this quote the other day......

At the center of our agency is the freedom to form a healthy attitude toward whatever circumstances we are placed in!

Elder Neal A Maxwell
(thanks Michelle...I read this in the book you sent me)

And that was a moment for me....one of those aha moments and it hit me that I needed to SNAP OUT OF IT! So, I'm going to try harder...I'm going to look for the good. I'm going to make a conscience effort to find happy moments and to laugh more. I'm going to be more friendly and stop isolating myself so much. I'm going to remember that "this too shall pass". I'm going to take more pictures and play more with my kids. I'm going to try my hardest to be "in the moment" and stop worrying so much....about the "what ifs". Life is hard but there's no reason why it can't be wonderful too.......

WW Update

2010-09-25T06:04:00.003-05:00

7 lbs down! Whoopedee Whooo Hooo! And I'm down a size....yay!

Now I just need to get a good groove going with exercising. I'm working full time M-F from 1130pm til 8am and I just haven't figured out where to fit it in....I sleep while the kiddies are in school.....then time to get up and pick up from school and do all the mom type things.

I really do love WW...and would recommend it to anyone and everyone! It really is working...I'm losing around 2lbs a week just by eating less and eating more good for you things.....and the best part is that I can still have ice cream and donuts if I want to use my points for that....and I sure have!

Grandad

2010-09-24T09:11:00.003-05:00

My dad came for a visit. He came to see the kids and to see North Stars play, Cinderella. It was soooo good to see him and to spend time with him! I was so glad he could see our actors in person instead of just on DVD. He spoiled us all rotten while he was here. He's a wonderful dad and I really love him so much! Thanks a ton DAD! You are awesome!

I'm very bummed that this one turned out so blurry.....

Grandad and the thespians after the play. Oh....also, Josh is a singer...he has a lovely voice and surprised many.....we had people coming up to us saying "I didn't know Josh could sing!" and we said "Neither did we!!!" Megan and Zack were very entertaining!

Our Jedi

2010-09-14T05:40:00.005-05:00

On Sunday I chatted on the phone with my new VT (Visiting Teacher, a church thing). She is also involved with Primary (Sunday School for the kiddies) and she told me the cutest story about Joe. They were playing some kind of beanbag game and the object was to toss the beanbag and hit a target of some sort. Well, when Joe had his turn he tossed the beanbag and it hit the target and he exclaimed "YES!!! I KNEW I COULD DO IT!!!
I USED THE FORCE!!"

Weight Watcher Update

2010-09-12T00:39:00.000-05:00

I'm liking it....I lost 2.6 lbs my first week...woo hoo!

ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR THE DAY

2010-09-09T14:15:00.001-05:00

Made cupcakes and managed to NOT lick the bowl!! Or eat the frosting.....

Some Stuff

2010-09-07T12:30:00.003-05:00

*Hannah is recovering splendidly! She says it doesn't hurt at all anymore and she's back to her fun, cute self. She is back to loving on me and giving me hugs and kisses all the time....I just love it, for one day, I know, she will be a teenager and those things will be a fond memory. The best part of all is that there was no cancer...just a bad egg....hee hee....

*Joe is doing so well in school! No calls from the principal thus far....*fingers crossed and knock on wood* He likes his teacher but misses his kindergarten teacher so much. He begged and begged and we finally went to see Miss Steele on Friday...he hugged her three times! And afterwards told me he loved her more than me and when I told him that made me sad he told me "okay...I love her the same amount as you". Okay...now I feel better...*hmph*

*Matthew is liking his new school...until night time and then he doesn't like it anymore. I've not figured that one out yet....I think he's just tired and needs to go to bed. He's making new friends and still playing the saxophone. It's nice that he can ride his bike or walk....no more long drives to take and pick up kids! Woo hoo!

*Zack, Josh and Megan are getting ready to perform in their school play, Cinderella. My dad is coming all the way from California to see it. Yay! I think Megan is liking high school....she isn't a big sharer (and have I mentioned she doesn't like hugs and kisses).

*Josh got a job at Raising Canes....it's somewhat like Chick-fil-A....just chicken sold there and the best dinner toast EVER!!! YUM!!

*We have a crazy neighbor. He called the cops on us because "we are transmitting messages to his house". WHAT!!???? The Police just wanted to warn us...warn us of what is still undetermined....is he just crazy or violent too? I saw one of the police officers last night while I was working in the ER...he was bringing some other individual in to visit us....I asked him if we should worry about our neighbor hurting anyone, his response...."As long as I've known him he's never hurt anyone".....after he left I wondered.....how long has he known him? A week?

*I joined Weight Watchers....now I'm watching my weight.....I'm 5 days in...weigh in is on Friday. It's not as hard as I thought it would be and I even think it's kinda fun...is that weird? I wonder how many points I'd have to use to have some of that dinner toast??

*I will leave you with some evidence of what happens when a four and six year old get a hold of the camera....

"The Mass"

2010-08-28T16:07:00.009-05:00

Our girl has been sick...so sick! As I spoke of last time...she threw up all day Sat and Sun. We went to the ER where she had an IV....she seemed to be better the next day. I took her to our family Dr., whom I love....(not like that....) and he agreed that she seemed better. The next morning the girl showed up next to my bed doubled over in pain. I took her to the bathroom...isn't that what any mom would do? She SCREAMED in pain! She has a UTI...thought I. I took her in again to our lovely Dr. Rector. He tested her urine....which was not fun to get from her I tell you....it took a LONG time! That girl is pretty stubborn! No UTI. "Perhaps Appendicitis" said Dr. Rector. It was off to Bryan East for a CT Scan. It was lots of time in a waiting room having her drink a "yucky drink", two cups of it! She spent the entire time curled in a ball on my lap....I asked for a fan...as I was so HOT....but they did not have one....bummer. It turns out that a CT Scan involves having an IV....and Hannah is not a fan of those so when the time came to have that...you can imagine...it took three of us to hold her down while she screamed at the top of her lungs "TAKE IT OUT OF ME!!".

Hannah just sitting around...that's all she wanted to do.

In the waiting room at Radiology....just wanting to be in my arms.

The "yucky drink".

In the CT Scan.

Well, after the CT Scan I sat with her for longer in the waiting room....waiting....isn't that why it's called "the waiting room"? Finally....I got a call from Dr. Rector....her appendix is fine....But...just so you know, I was not ready for this "but". They found a mass. A mass? Like a tumor!???". yes, a mass, they found it next to her colon...they are not sure what it's attached to, maybe her ovary? She's 4! How could this be? She'll need to have surgery, it needs to be removed and he promised to call me in the morning with an appointment with a pediatric surgeon at Childrens Hospital in Omaha. I went home in a daze...

The next morning Dr Rector called and said the soonest we could get in was next Thursday the 2nd of Sept. We waited til Thursday the 27th....I called and said she can't wait...she's in so much pain....so our Dr. said go to the ER at Childrens...they'll have to see you. So we went.....now I have to tell you that our girl began singing on the ride to Omaha...we hadn't heard any singing since before Saturday. I wondered if we should even be taking her...she seemed better....glad I didn't listen to myself. We took her...they took many many ultra sound pictures labeling many of them "the mass".....then came back to take some more....then took us back to our ER room....then came and got us again, now the radiologist wanted to do the ultra sound herself...I knew this could not be good....and it wasn't. The "mass" was not attached to her ovary...it WAS her ovary! Now a surgeon came to speak with us. He is so nice and so gentle with Hannah....I love him (not that way!!). His name is Dr. Cusick and if you ever need a pediatric surgeon in Omaha...he's your guy! He explained that for some reason they believed Hannah's fallopian tube had twisted around and cut off the blood supply to her ovary. They would need to do surgery right away and hope they could repair it...if not they would need to remove it. Our girl was prepped for surgery right then....she seemed to be feeling so much better....I asked why this was and Dr. Cusick explained that her ovary had probably already "died" and now she didn't have as much pain...but he wouldn't know til he got in there.....turns out he was right. The surgery took around an hour and a half....Aaron and I waited in the waiting room...where else???...this time it was the surgery waiting room. Dr. Cusick came out to tell us the surgery was done. Hannah did very well...they had to remove her right ovary along with her fallopian tube...she still has one ovary and fallopian tube that look good...so she can still have children. Why does this happen? Well, there's a possibility there's a tumor in her ovary and the blood supply was cut off to kill it....our bodies are smart. But, we are not going there yet....the pathology report comes back some time next week....not going worry about that unless we have to.

She was so happy before surgery...smiling and cute....not so much after. She was yelling and screaming and even shoved a nurse while yelling at her "GET AWAY FROM ME!". We were hoping to go home on Friday...but we went home Saturday instead. She had a hard time at first, she couldn't hold food down and they had trouble managing her pain but now she's recovering nicely and is having some pain but is able to play and have fun.

She's singing again! We're so happy to have her home and back!

In the ER at Chilrens Hospital...that's her new kitty, flowers, the ultra sound tech gave it to her and it it quickly became her favorite thing in the world.

Dr. Cusick "signed" her tummy and then let her have the pen...she was so glad to have it and after the surgery asked, well screamed, "WHERE'S MY PEN!".

the autograph

The last picture taken before surgery.

The first picture taken after surgery...she was swollen and itchy....I think it was from the morphine...that's what morphine does to me.

Watching Cinderella, this is what calmed her down...Cinderella is her favorite princess....she told me she really wanted to go to Disneyland but she didn't know how to get there and then she started to cry.....drugs will do that to you.......I told her maybe we can go when she's 5. She was worried that it would be a very long walk....I assured her we'd either drive or go on a plane.....she was excited to think about riding on a plane and told me she could watch a movie on the plane.

This is pretty much how she looked the first night....either that or crying that "my tummy hurts"

The first night...now I think she was watching The Little Mermaid....after that I turned off the TV and she slept til she had to go potty and then she cried all the way to the bathroom...in the bathroom and all the way back to her bed...poor baby girl.

This was the view out the window...it really was so cool...we were on the 4th floor. I didn't sleep much the first night....I was worried.

The next day she looked like this alot or she was crying....so it was decided another night would do her good.....I went home to get a shower and new clothes and Aaron stayed with her.

When I came back from Lincoln...I found this...a happy girl feeling better....yay! Joe and Matthew came back with me....we went down to the lobby to get our girl walking!

Joe Matthew and Hannah

They have a little "river" in the lobby.

They had fun throwing coins in and making wishes....Hannah told me she wished she was a "real princess". I told her she was my real princess.

Our happy girl!

The daytime view from our room.

Feeling good!

They had a lovely play room there...she was very excited to go in there!

A view finder!

She loved playing with all the "food". She made me many meals. She also loved playing Dr. with her dad....they even let her bring toys back to her room to play with.

Now here's the graphic photos.

Sickness

2010-08-23T22:03:00.006-05:00

We have sickness in our house....and I don't like it one bit. Joe came down with a double ear infection two days before school started....luckily after two days of antibiotics he was feeling better and was able to attend the first day of first grade....he's doing so AWESOME by the way......YAY! Anyway...then on Saturday my sweet darling girl...you know, the baby, got so sick...so so so sick and we ended up in the ER on Sunday (before my shift) with my sick girl getting an IV. She was very dehydrated. It took three tries to get that IV in...and we had one unhappy girl. They finally had to use a neonatal (for babies) needle because her little veins kept blowing out. And I'm sick too....thought I had a toothache and it ends up being a sinus infection and uvulitis...look it up.....

The only funny part was this conversation....

Nurse: who painted your pretty nails?

Hannah: My mean sister Megan did.

ps....I forgot to take pictures of the kids on the first day of school.....oops.

VISIT

2010-08-23T18:09:00.005-05:00

Zack left for California and then Utah (insert my jealous face here) and was gone for 3 weeks! I missed him and was so glad when he came back and he brought my nephew Zane with him....BONUS! Then joyful day....my sister and my aunt came a few days later. We had a wonderful time! They spent way too much money on us and brought and left many many blessings for us!! We went out to dinner more times than I've been out since we moved here! It was so fun to be with my sister and my aunt and have that girl time that I've been missing oh so much! My face hurt from all the laughing we did.....the last night they were here I slept over at the hotel with Jenny and Jo.....I even got permission from Aaron....and in the morning we called the kids and told them to meet us at IHOP (have I mentioned how nice it is to have kids who drive?). We all had the lovely just got out of bed look and the manager was so kind to take our picture. when they left they took our Jasper to his forever home with my inlaws.....I had to pry him out of Hannah's hands...she was not happy to see him go and begged me to let her go with him. It was way too short of a visit and I'm ready to move back to Utah now.

thanks for sharing

2010-08-10T09:35:00.003-05:00

On Friday we went to the the North Star marching band's family night. The marching band practiced all week and on Friday they had an exhibition to show off all they learned. After the exhibition everyone was invited inside where we all sat to watch a slide show of the week in pictures and video. I was sitting there next to my friend Angie (another theater/marching band mom). Hannah was sitting on the other side of her....she asked "What's your name." and Angie said "Angie, what's your name?" and Hannah said "Hannah...I feed our dogs people food.".......just in case Angie was wondering....

Life in the ER

2010-08-05T06:11:00.002-05:00

Okay...so I've been working in the ER for 2 months now. It's sometimes funny....sometimes sad.....sometimes heartwrenching.....sometimes irritating......sometimes stressful and always interesting. The most surprising things are

1. How many people come to the ER in the middle of the night.

2. How many people do not bathe.

3. How many people come to ER for bug bites.

4. How many people overdose.

5. How much I can see and not be sick...or even feel sick.

I've seen heart attacks, stabbings, car accident victims, stomach pains...tons and tons of stomach pains, dog bites, lacerations, mental illness, a person stepped on by a bull, a man who fell on his face into a fence post, people who've been assaulted, one a woman who had her face fractured in three places by her husband, strokes, burns, broken hands...amazing how many guys like to hit walls when they are mad, guess what?? The wall always wins!.....I've seen many many drunk people......some funny some not so much. Surprisingly...I've not seen a lot of death. It's been hard to change jobs and meet all new people...but I like it..... most of the time.

Love

2010-08-04T06:45:00.006-05:00

Hannah has informed me that she plans to marry Logan. He is a boy from her daycare. I was having a chat with her a couple nights ago about him and she told me he is her best friend and thats why she's going to marry him. She also informed me that she likes to kiss him...on his cheeks and on his lips. When I suggested that kissing him on the lips is not such a good idea she responding with...."but I like to".

more cuteness and a another birthday

2010-07-30T20:48:00.003-05:00

Is this not the cutest face you've ever seen? I wrote about our foster dog last time and we have more pictures of the little ball of adorableness....we are calling him Jasper. My in laws already have a dachshund named Diamond so we thought it fitting to pick a name for this dog that has to do with rocks and stones....at first we thought Rockford and call him Rocky...but Jasper was more fitting...at least we think so, we'll see if the in laws keep the name. Molly and Murphy have become very attached to him very quickly....they are going to miss him...we are too!

My little Joshy turned 16!!! Did you hear that??? 16!!!!~ I remember him being my little cuddle bug. He was so sweet and snuggly. He was also so full of mischief...I remember when he'd sneak off to the bathroom and create "potions" in there with whatever he found in the cupboards and medicine cabinet. I remember the time he rubbed gold bond cream all over his face and head and when I asked him why he did that he told me "I had to". I remember the time he turned on the faucet on the water heater and drained the entire thing all over the basement floor. And the time he unwound the entire box of film (remember film?) we'd just bought at Costco....six rolls!!! all ruined!!! and when asked "why did you do that?", his answer was "because I had to fix them.". Now he's 16 and he has his drivers license...got it the day after he turned 16....when did I....I mean he, get so old????

so stinkin cute!

2010-07-30T00:25:00.002-05:00

Sometimes my little Hannah just tickles me....I just want to squeeze her! Today I was kissing her all over her face and she said "mom, you got kisses on my eye!"

This week

2010-07-25T18:21:00.004-05:00

Matthew turned 12! I remember when he was born and was so cute with his head of lots of beautiful red hair! Well, he still has the red hair and LOTS of it! I asked him to please get his hair wet before we had cake....he got his shirt wet too....such a boy! Anyway...he's growing into a fine young man. He has discovered that reading is kinda fun this summer...he takes trips to the library on his bike to get movies, books and wii games...that has been a wonderful discovery for us...wii games at the library! He plays with the little kids and fights with them too....such a brother....and he also loves taking care of our dogs. I'm super proud of him and the young man he's becoming.

We also have become foster parents! My friend had a little sweet dachshund who needed a loving home. I immediately thought of my in laws....they already have a doxie and so Aaron called them and they said they would love to have cute little boy doxie.....so, we are fostering him until my sister comes in August and can take him to his forever home. He is so cute and sweet and is already puppy pad trained....I think it may be very hard to say goodbye....Murphy is overjoyed to have another playmate...Molly is just tolerant.

Resemblance?

2010-07-17T18:37:00.001-05:00

*yep...that's my dad holding me...